when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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