Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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