your parents love me but you hate me
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
