Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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