just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Is it because I queefed?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
