I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
