windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
