I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
