You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
