i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You took a bar mat shot.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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