What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Everclear isn't food dammit
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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