when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
handjob tips. give me some.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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