that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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