I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
apparently the secret to your success is patron
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
