i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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