C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
