Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
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