What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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