would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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