Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
