Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
