Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
There r osticjed everywhere
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
