i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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