I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
