i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize