she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
