drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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