Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
