we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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