We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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