so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
