He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
