carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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