I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
