DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
