did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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