is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
