I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize