I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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