This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Randomize