She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
