oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Randomize
