ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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