I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
