Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
