At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
