So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
