so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
