I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
