As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
