how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
