Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
