we have pet lesbian snakes
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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