I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
