Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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