ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
